I have a netflixation

I can't even try to guess the time as I rub my already blurry eyes. I've kept my blinds closed the entire time to guarantee optimal viewing. I only have 15 second breaks. 15 seconds to breathe and make a quick decision, but no person in their right mind can make a decision in 15 seconds, so I lose. My phone is going off, the bleeps and rings of friends and family worried about me because they haven't heard from me in hours and even though I can't remember what day it is, or how I even got started, I have no regrets. Some might say it's unhealthy, an obsession really, but I see it as an accomplishment. In 11 hours I have finished all of Sherlock and have gotten through at least half a season of Parks and Recreation. I tell myself I should go to sleep, but another episode has already started and Leslie Knope's words have me committed. I never like to give up, so why start now? Yes, I have become a victim of the Netflixation.

Netflixation has become such a rising pandemic, it feels that by next year, people will be required to get a vaccination for it. The obsession has been increasing due to hit shows airing that can only be seen on Netflix. Well played, Netflix. It's like you've poisoned minds and are the only one carrying the antidote. For those of you worried that you'll fall into the Netflixation zombie wasteland, here are some tips and tricks to help you with your survival:

1. Watch movies

Movies have a short time span. The average film lasts 90-120 minutes. Once a movie is over, there is no continuation. Unless of course it has a sequel, but given that this is Netflix, the sequel is probably the only one available. Want to watch the first one? You'll have to sign up for the DVD rental. Movies also have he great satisfaction of ending. Television, however, is like a box or bag of (insert your favorite candy here). You keep telling yourself, "Oh, just one more." But be careful, or you might suffer from episode obesity.

2. If you watch television - Take breaks every other episode

Rub your eyes, stretch your legs and arms, take a quick jog around the block, make your dinner that you meant to make 4 episodes of 30 Rock ago. If you set the simple goal of breaking every other episode, you'll practice a bit of self control. Don't be a hero, Netflix will most definitely win, but you don't have to give in easily.

3. Pick shows you wouldn't normally watch

This is a win, win: If you like the show, then you have the satisfaction of stepping outside your comfort zone and enjoying it. If you don't like it, then you won't feel compelled to continue, thus stopping something before it has even begun. Being able to tell people this is like telling people you went into Target and didn't buy anything. They'll be impressed and respect you.

4. Pay attention to the 15 seconds

Remember, you have an option, but you're on the clock. You have only a few seconds to say, "No, not today," before you end up finishing all of Arrested Development and forgetting all about your niece's christening. She's a baby, so she won't remember, but you'll have the painful memory every time you quote Buster Bluth or see a frozen banana.

5. Do not look at the suggestions

This is like opening Pandora's box. Once you've read the suggestions, you'll remember shows and movies you forgot existed, forgot that you once told people you wanted to see, forgot that you had so many damn interests until that friendly box of suggestions pops up in your face. It's the ultimate power play. They've given you everything you wanted, but shows can't last forever, so when they finish, you feel hurt, alone, depressed, perhaps even a little confused and then Netflix swoops in with something shiny and new to scare those blues away. It knows it has control over you. Sadness is natural. It is better to feel it then try to mask it with countless episodes of Battlestar Galactica. 

Here are some final things to consider before launching into Netflix:

1. No one will hate you for not being completely caught up on Mad Men

2. You've already seen every episode of the X-files, you don't need to re-watch them

3. Most of the top rated items on Netflix aren't even that good

4. Don't trust the star ratings for the people who determine the ratings can't be trusted.

5. You've gotten through most of your life without seeing a lot of this stuff.

6. Only people on pinterest and imgur talk about Dr. Who

7. Internet memes have made shows like How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory, a lot funnier than they actually are.

8. If you're going to watch anything, at least make it Breaking Bad. People actually talk about that and make references daily that are way over your head.

Hopefully, with this advice, you can survive this plague. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor...Ooo, I should watch The Hunger Games.